Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
