Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
