You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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