Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
