see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
