Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
