Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
