I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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