dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize