we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
