sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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