the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
