"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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