i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
