he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
