So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize