you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
