When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
