I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Terrible idea I love it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
