If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
