also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
