I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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