i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
