To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
