Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
