We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
