the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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