my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
