see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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