You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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