I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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