This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
