just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
