Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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