so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
