Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
