I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You pole danced in your parka.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
