Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
