I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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