I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize