okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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