he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
