he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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