you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
