She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
