singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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