I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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