i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
