sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
