If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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