I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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