just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
