ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
