ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
