he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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