Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
