So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
