his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
