I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
