Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize