The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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