Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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