He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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