Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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