omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize