Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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