Have you finally orgasmed yet?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
